Bluebeard's Beach Club and Villas

If it weren't for the lobby’s incredible ocean views, Bluebeard's would probably lose a lot of first-time guests upon arrival. The lobby is really more of a reception room than any grand entrance -- and it’s an ugly one at that. Dark, low-lying wood-beam ceilings make the space feel dark, and the dated tile floors instantly give away the hotel’s age. There’s a small front desk, and check-in can be a painfully slow process, even if there are no other guests around. Just off the lobby is the time-share office that also doubles as an activities center. Here guests can book local excursions or sit through a time-share meeting, should they so choose. The lobby has two beautiful French doors that lead to a huge covered deck with insanely gorgeous ocean views. It’s a shame the hotel doesn’t use this space for a better purpose than housing a few plastic tables and chairs. The crowd at Bluebeard's is mostly older American couples. Though there are a few young people, you’ll be hard-pressed to find any children here. Most guests choose to spend their days by the pool or at the beach. Lunchtime usually draws a crowd to the open-air bar and restaurant, but the general atmosphere is quiet. This is not the place for spring breakers, nor is it a place for vacationers looking to be pampered. If you want something at Bluebeard's, you’ll have to get it yourself.  

Midway between Charlotte Amalie and Red Hook (about a 15-minute drive in either direction), Bluebeard's Beach Club and Villas is located in a quiet, secluded area where there’s not much else around (and nothing within walking distance). Guests will have to rent a car or rely on cabs if they plan on exploring the island -- or going out to dinner. Transportation is tricky here -- guests must either rent a car and drive on insanely windy roads with left-side traffic laws, or take expensive taxis that can be somewhat unreliable. Cyril E. King International Airport is about a 30-minute drive from the hotel.   

At first glance, rooms at Bluebeard's are rather nice. Kitchens and bathrooms have granite counters, white walls and tile floors are accented by bright pops of blue and green, and lots of natural light floods through the units’ windows and doors. But, upon closer inspection, these updates do a poor job covering up years or wear and tear. Many guests complain that at some point during their stay, they have to switch rooms because of leaky air conditioners, pervading smells of mildew, or plumbing issues in the bathroom. During our investigation, we encountered similar sights and smells, along with mysterious puddles and grimy rings around some toilets. There are several room types at Bluebeard's, most of which include separate living rooms and kitchens, and private ocean-view balconies. Kitchens have dark wood cabinets, beige granite counters, and a bland tile backsplash. There are also full-size refrigerators, microwaves, and electric burners -- but no ovens. Living rooms have standard chain-like decor, with light green couches and blue ottomans. The blue and green theme continues in the bedroom, where the all-white bedding gets a burst of color from green and white accent pillows, along with green and navy bed runners. Bathrooms are dull. Most do not have tubs, only large walk-in showers. 

With a fantastic beach and mid-size pool with a swim-up bar, the hotel’s outdoor features are surely its nicest. The beach is one of the most beautiful in the area, with soft white sand, calm waters, and a rocky cove at its far end. Its only flaws are the dingy beach chairs the hotel provides for guests. There is however, an awfully nice set-up of Adirondack chairs just next to the bar and restaurant -- which looks like the perfect spot to sit with some friends and some beers. Located next to the beach, the bar and restaurant is a bare bones, open-air establishment that serves mediocre food. It’s called Breeze Bistro, but don’t expect any bistro-quality food. Instead, it’s typical beach-bar fare -- sandwiches, salads, and burgers. The bar makes decent cocktails, as long as you don’t mind bottom-shelf to middle-of-the-line liquor. The mid-size pool is an abstract kidney shape with a volleyball net and a swim-up bar. Most pool-goers crowd around the bar, where there’s usually some good music and lively conversation. Next to the pool is a small barbecue area with a few grills and picnic tables, along with some hammocks that have been hung between the palms. The hotel also has a tennis court, half basketball court, and a mini-market that sells items like snacks, sunscreen, and souvenirs. There’s also a small fitness center up near the lobby, which has some nice cardio equipment and fantastic ocean views. However, Bluebeard's is notorious for its hidden extra fees, including a daily resort fee and hefty charges for Wi-Fi.