Mediterranean Palace Hotel

In a tourist town filled with flashy, in-your-face beach resorts, Mediterranean Palace still manages to stand out. Its colossal, question-mark-shaped building undulates around a main pool that's giant even by Playa de las Americas standards (and the pool, in turn, seems modest in size when compared to its surrounding deck space and terrace). Once inside Mediterranean Palace's cavernous lobby, its hard to know where to look. Row after row of internal balconied hall landings create a dizzying effect that is magnified by the zig-zagging of escalators, the up-downing of pneumatic vacuum elevators, the trickling of indoor fountains, the glinting of mirror-paneled columns, and the passing-by of porters bringing luggage to the rooms. Crystal raindrop chandeliers hang down from an enormous skylight, overlooking small in-lobby islands with plants and palms (one of the islands has a grand piano). The sheer spaciousness of the lobby is a sign of the enormity of Mediterranean Palace and the scale of its offerings. The main hub of the Mare Nostrum Resort complex, the family-oriented Mediterranean Palace represents the sort of big, brassy beach resort that commands this part of Tenerife. The two sister hotels, Cleopatra Palace Hotel and Hotel Sir Anthony, stage themselves as more refined picks for primarily couples -- major contrasts to Mediterranean Palace's kid-friendly environment. (Note that Mediterranean Palace guests also have access to the common features at Cleopatra Palace, but not the ones at Hotel Sir Anthony.) Despite the vast size and busyness of the lobby and the exhaustive features sprinkled every which way, one nonetheless gets the strong sense that this hotel has long been fading from its glory days -- a hunch that is solidified by the extremely dated rooms, which look like they haven't been refreshed in decades.

Mediterranean Palace is set a bit back from the water of cove-shaped Playa del Camison. Technically, it's not right on the beach, as Hotel Sir Anthony (also part of Mare Nostrum Resort) separates Mediterranean Palace from the shore. Just past Sir Anthony, though, is the restaurant- and bar-heavy promenade and the beach. The hotel's front entrance is on Avenue Las Americas, one of Playa de las Americas' main shopping streets. Safari Shopping Center is right across Avenue Las Americas from Mediterranean Palace. All three Mare Nostrum hotels -- Mediterranean, Hotel Sir Anthony, and Cleopatra Palace -- practically share a lot with Hard Rock Cafe Tenerife, which has live acts and DJ sets every night of the week. Tenerife South Airport is an 20-minute drive from the hotel.

With tile floors, off-white walls with faded framed prints, and dated (often scratched) furnishings, the rooms here are fine -- no more, no less. Their biggest virtue is that they all have good-sized balconies furnished with plastic patio furniture; even though Mediterranean Palace isn't technically on the beach, the ocean is visible from the hotel's west-facing, upper-floor balconies. The rooms' patently non-modern feel has as much to do with their old amenities (like the bulky tube TVs) and lack of features (as in no coffeemakers) as with the stale bed runners and curtains. Room renovations are on Mediterranean Palace's radar, but the hotel management has not announced on a timeline for this project.Bathrooms are as basic as the rest of the rooms, though they do have bathrobes, slippers, hairdryers, and a full set of toiletries. Most rooms have shower/tub combos, and some have both tubs and walk-in showers. For the many families who check in, cots are available and babyproofing can be done beforehand. Families and groups can also book Family Rooms, which are two connected Double Rooms that can sleep four adults and two children. When families check in, the hotel provides kids' goodie bags with children's toiletries, a rubber duck, a sponge, and a small bathrobe. Safes are free -- unusual for the area -- and mini-fridges can be used for a fee. Wi-Fi is free in the rooms, and housekeeping visits daily.

Aside from its central location, Mediterranean Palace's scads of features -- many of which are specifically geared towards families and kids -- give the hotel its appeal. Club Mare Kids, Mediterranean's kids' club, is purportedly the largest in Tenerife. Its main room is huge, with play structures with ball pits, crafting areas, puppet theater, chess, foosball, and a nursery for infants. The hotel's kid-oriented amenities aren't limited to this indoor space (enormous though it may be): there are also several play areas, mini-golf, football, archery, and a baby pool. Activities for kids aged six months to 16 years are scheduled throughout the day.Mediterranean's main pool is a huge circle pool with a fountain in the center and three shallow mini-pools, each with its own smaller fountain, along the edge. Inflatable pool equipment, like bubble pools and other inflatable play-equipment modules, are scattered throughout the water. Daily pool aerobics classes, squawking kids, poolside animation, and loud music are all to be expected around here; guests looking for a more peaceful pool scene can saunter down to Cleopatra Palace's pool. Mediterranean's pool is surrounded by an immense concrete deck with white plastic loungers and palm trees. A pool bar is located on an enormous black-and-white-tiled terrace, a few steps up from the pool deck, and there are also poolside grills for barbecues and a smoothie/juice/coffee bar right by the pool. For those who want to right by the ocean, La Palapa Beach Club serves food and drinks all day. La Palapa is open to the public, and Mediterranean guests get a discount. Apart from the poolside and beachside bars, the hotel's main on-site restaurant is a buffet serving breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Complaints about tepid or cold food are constant, though microwaves are available for guests to use. Room service is available 24 hours a day. Drinking options include a sports bar and a night club with live acts scheduled several nights a week.The Mare Nostrum Resort's main wellness facility is the thalassotherapy spa located at Cleopatra Palace (with a heated saltwater pool, hot tub, sauna, and solarium), but Mediterranean does have its own hair and nail salon, plus two tennis courts. A fitness room is available too, for a daily fee. Bicycles, wheelchairs, and strollers are available to rent. A convenience store and coffee shop off of the lobby sells sunscreen and other toiletries, as well as candy, wine, water, pre-made sandwiches, magazines, and books. The hotel's 21 flexible meeting rooms have audio-visual capabilities, and can hold up to 3,400 people in total. On-site parking and resort-wide Wi-Fi are both free.