Coco Reef Resort Bermuda

The driveway leading to Coco Reef Resort is rather unassuming. After passing Bermuda College, guests pull up to a simple portico where a porter may or may not be waiting. Inside, the lobby’s gaudy Italian Renaissance themed decor makes a poor first impression. The octagonally shaped entryway features tacky gold archways, cheap chandeliers, and an odd sculpture/fountain structure. Mirrored walls create a disorienting feeling — as if the over-the-top decor didn’t already provide a sensory overload. Directly in front of this strange entry room is the lobby bar, while the front desk in located in a dark corner to the right.

The majority of guests here are older travelers. We saw quite a few seniors using wheelchairs and walkers, along with a smattering of middle-aged couples, and almost no families. Children are welcome, but there's not much for them to do here.

The main draw at Coco Reef is the central location in Paget Parish, on an oceanfront beach. This is the only resort in this price bracket to offer this prime location, and neighboring resorts on the south shore can cost more than twice as much. Just note that even though this is a beachfront property, the stretch of sand in front of the hotel is small and rocky, and guests have to walk down lots of stairs from the main property in order to reach it. There aren’t any lounge chairs directly on the sand, but the hotel does place a few on the sloped terraces above the beach. Many guests choose to walk five minutes to the public portion of famed Elbow Beach next door, where lounge chairs are available for rent.

The hotel is about a 25-minute drive from L.F. Wade International Airport, and about a 10-minute drive to downtown Hamilton. Foreigners are not allowed to rent a car in Bermuda, but can rent mopeds. Other transportation options include taxis and the public bus; the resort is along Route 7, which runs from Hamilton to the Royal Naval Dockyard, where cruise ships disembark, and stops at popular sights such as Horseshoe Bay. Despite being expensive, taxis are the most reliable form of transportation. The public bus doesn’t always run as scheduled, and renting a moped can be dangerous for travelers who aren’t accustomed to left-side driving laws or Bermuda’s insanely winding roads.

Remember your little sister’s bedroom from 1989? If you don’t, the rooms at Coco Reef Resort will serve as a good reminder. Peach walls, wicker furniture, and floral pastel bedding offer a blast from the past — and did we mention the bedding matches the furniture, drapery, and lamp shades as well? Despite the dated decor, rooms at Coco Reef do have a few things going for them. All are immaculately clean, and all feature outdoor patios or balconies with ocean views. In-room amenities include flat-screen TVs (from this decade), coffeemakers, safety deposit boxes, and irons and ironing boards. Bathrooms run on the smaller side, and feature pedestal sinks and shower/tub combos. A few suites are also available.

The hotel’s small pool is located a few steps down from the lobby. In keeping with the loose Italian Renaissance theme, the Roman-shaped pool has its own Neptune-esque statue and is surrounded by a white balustrade. There are a few plastic slatted lounge chairs, but few people occupy them during the day. The beach is a few minutes' walk down a flight of stairs from the pool. The stretch of sand directly in front of the hotel is small, and its rocky outcroppings make swimming difficult. There aren’t any lounge chairs directly on the sand, but the hotel does place a few on the sloped terraces above the beach. Note that non-guests (such as cruise passengers) can buy day passes to use the beach and pool, and that the hotel has an arrangement with Newstead Belmont Hills to provide beach and lounger access to its guests. It's also possible to walk to famed Elbow Beach in about five minutes, but renting loungers there is pricey.

Cafe Coco, the hotel’s restaurant, serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner in a sunny Mediterranean-style room. Like the hotel’s promise of being the “Bermuda’s Best Beach Resort,” Cafe Coco’s catch phrase, “If you only eat out once in Bermuda, this is the place,” is also somewhat lofty. Menu offerings are ridiculously overpriced for their mediocre quality. Better dining options can certainly be found elsewhere on the island.

There is no spa, fitness center, or on-site entertainment at Coco Reef. The hotel offers free Wi-Fi, but it’s horrendously slow and reception can be spotty.