13901 Grand Central Pkwy, Kew Gardens, New York, United States | (718) 969-3000
Chance that your room has been featured in a movie (Note: most likely an adult film)
Friendly pimps roaming the grounds
Sweeping views of the exciting Grand Central Parkway
Anchored TV remote means guests will never lose them
Tissues handily stuffed into peepholes, for extra privacy
Classy plastic flowers throughout
Room menu in lobby is easy to use (it's reminiscent of a Chinese take-out menu)
Convenient ATM in lobby (in case your room guest requires payment)
[Ed note: We kid, of course. There's really nothing good about this hotel.]
Pervasive odor of stale cigarette smoke that has been in the carpets since the Carter administration
Glacially slow elevators make it tough to escape sting operations
Terrifying bathrooms with towels that smell like burnt hair, grimy showerheads, and mildew-caked shower/tub combos
Ask a native New Yorker, and they might tell you about the heyday of the Kew Motor Inn, when celebrities would roam the halls and party late into the night. That may have been true once, but those days have completely faded. Today, it's a seedy, hourly-rate establishment with a clichéd romantic vibe; you almost expect a Punk'd-style camera crew to pop out at any moment. Everything, from the short-order menu variety of themed rooms (including Love Nest, Egyptian, and Waterfall), to the overuse of plastic flowers, to the decades of stale cigarette smoke that are deeply ingrained into the walls and carpets, cries out "sex hotel." But if all of that didn't make it clear enough, the prostitutes and pimps who frequent the grounds should.
Scene
The Kew Motor Inn was shut down for promoting prostitution
The Kew Motor Inn was closed in March 2012 after a three-month undercover police probe revealed front desk clerk were promoting prostitution. Oyster.com's hotel investigator visited mere weeks before the sting operation, and all the juicy details of his experience -- including his encounter with a pimp -- can be found on the Oyster Blog.
Love Nest
13901 Grand Central Pkwy, Kew Gardens, New York, United States
(718) 969-3000