Chateau Marmont

Perched on a hill overlooking Sunset Boulevard, the Chateau Marmont has been a bastion of old Hollywood -- and a way of life for many a celebrity -- since it opened in 1927. With its faded oriental rugs, velvet couches, beveled mirrors, and brass candelabras, the atmosphere is brooding and nostalgic, as discreet as it is decadent. As Harry Cohn, founder of Columbia Pictures, famously told screen legends William Holden and Glenn Ford, "If you're going to get in trouble, do it at the Chateau Marmont."Loosely modeled after a chateau in France's Loire Valley, this temple of romance and hedonism has a history as thick as the stains on its carpets. Former residents include Greta Garbo, Robert DeNiro, and Lindsay Lohan. John Belushi overdosed in a bungalow, F. Scott Fitzgerald had a heart attack here, and members of Led Zeppelin rode motorcycles through the lobby. While there's no debating that the Chateau is an icon, it's not a hotel for ordinary people. Those who love the Chateau tend to be part of the Hollywood tribe. They're drawn to its history, its distressed décor, and the air of exclusivity that pervades every nook and cranny. But the Chateau can prove to be one of the most overrated hotels in L.A.


As Philip Truelove, a former manager at the Chateau (and current manger of Robert DeNiro's Greenwich Hotel in New York City) told Entertainment Weekly in 1992, "This is not a hotel for tourists." And 20 years later, that still holds true -- this is a hotel for celebrities, celebrity voyeurs, and connoisseurs of celebrity life. Oyster wasn't allowed in to photograph any room other than our own, nor did the hotel allow us to take photographs inside the hotel (other than the few that we snuck with a small camera). So the quality of the 62 other rooms, suites, cottages, or bungalows can't be vouched for. But the standard rooms are small (300 square feet) and shabby carpets, grime around the baseboards, with an outdated bathroom -- and overall a letdown. With the exception of minor renovations, rooms haven't been redone since 1990. Tourists are paying for the cachet of staying at one of the most storied hotels in the world. You can't put a price tag on celebrity sightings. But you'll find a better standard room almost anywhere else in West Hollywood. One of the best, most spacious rooms in all of L.A. is also less expensive. Oyster's advice? Book a room at the London West Hollywood and head to the Chateau's restaurant to satisfy your urge to sight a celebrity.

The service is a smidge warmer than anticipated after reading countless reviews about the stuffy (yet courteous) treatment guests received. That said, the air of exclusivity is impossible to penetrate. It's safe to assume that celebrities and regulars get the most attentive treatment, and usually the best tables. However, hotel guests (even noncelebrities) are entitled to priority reservations at the restaurant, a privilege otherwise reserved for studio directors and names that appear in the IMDB database.

• Nightly turndown service
• 24-hour room service
• Service requests answered promptly
• Concierge services can be accessed by emailing [email protected]

Located in the heart of West Hollywood on the Sunset Strip, the Chateau Marmont planted its flag at 8221 Sunset Boulevard decades before nearby celebrity haunts like the Mondrian showed up a half-mile down the road. The Sunset Strip, which has long been known for music clubs like the Roxy, Viper Room, and Whisky A Go-Go, has become significantly more upscale since its strip club and head shop days in the '70s and '80s.

• One of the most prestigious addresses in Hollywood, but its entrance is easy to miss -- it's just a short, narrow driveway marked by a small sign. No porte cochere, no gold-plated gate, no big, burly guards.
• The heart of the Hollywood Walk of Fame is two miles away, the Hollywood Bowl is a 15-minute drive, and Universal Studios is about 20 minutes by car.
• Steps from the famed music clubs on the Sunset Strip
• Sunset Plaza, a walkable half-mile stretch of noted restaurants and upscale boutiques like Elaine Kim and Catherine Malandrino, is a short drive, or 15-minute walk from the hotel.
• At least a 30-minute drive to Santa Monica and L.A.'s beaches
• Bob Hope Airport in Burbank is about 14 miles away, which can translate to a 45 minute drive in traffic, but it's still a better option than Los Angeles International Airport (LAX), which can take one and a half hours.

The bungalows where celebrities stay are probably really nice, but the small standard rooms (300 square feet) are less so. Though they feature charming midcentury furniture, shabby carpeting and an outdated bathroom are a let down. For a much lower price, book a standard room at the London West Hollywood -- it's immaculate, more than double the size, and comes with a balcony and enormous bathroom with a double-headed shower and gleaming sunken tub.

• Comfortable queen beds in standard rooms with high-thread-count linens, down pillows and duvets, and a divine Nepalese cashmere throw
• Most standard rooms have separate showers and bathtubs, but bathrooms are outdated.
• Some street noise from Sunset Boulevard and from the patio below -- the hotel leaves earplugs for guests in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.
• Rooms could use a deep cleaning, particularly the stained carpet and the grime on the baseboards around the minibar.
• Free Wi-Fi throughout the hotel
• No balconies in standard rooms
• Suites range from 600 square feet (junior suite with queen bed and full kitchen) to 3,800 square feet (two-bedroom penthouse with a 1,500-square-foot private terrace).

The real attraction here is the people watching. With the exception of the free Wi-Fi and stellar restaraunt, almost everything else, including the pool and the dark, depressing gym, is a letdown.

• People watching galore
• The small pool is tucked among the private bungalows and feels private, until the traffic noise from Sunset Boulevard starts to get annoying; open 24 hours.
• On weekends a small bar is set up by the pool; at other times, you can call room service to get a drink delivered or have one at the lobby bar.
• Gym is in a depressingly dark room on the 7th floor. Equipment includes a treadmill, StairClimber, elliptical, bikes, and an assortment of weights, all of which have seen much, much better days.
• Free Wi-Fi throughout the hotel

Pets are allowed for a nonrefundable fee. Guest will be asked to sign a pet waier upon arrival.

Nothing about this place screams bring the kids, even though the rental cribs (available for $30/day) come with soft, luxurious Frette linens. For 80 years the Chateau has been where Hollywood's moguls and starlets come to do their Hollywood mogul and starlet things, which doesn't include entertaining kids, even if those children happen to have been conceived there. Which is always a possibility.

• Rollaway beds and cribs available for a nightly fee
• No kids' menu

It's so dark in the main areas that you don't really notice any substantive cleanliness issues, but it's a different story in the rooms. The carpet in the standard room was dirty and worn, and there seemed to be years of grime around the baseboards, especially near the minibar. The grounds and areas around the pool are immaculate.

The Chateau's main restaraunt, with its infamous outdoor patio, has the A-listers flock like it's the last piece of real estate in L.A. The food is excellent and reasonably priced considering the haute locale.

• The restaurant is open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• Bar in the hotel lobby for grabbing a quick drink -- it fills up fast, so calling ahead is recommended
• Tables on the charming outdoor patio are some of the most sought after in the city -- and thus the best place to spot celebs (a colleague saw Stevie Wonder and Thom Yorke within a few days of my stay).
• Dinner entrees at the restaurant range from ricotta ravioli with peas and asparagus to herbed filet mignon.
• Breakfast is especially pleasant on the patio, as well as in the lobby.
  
  
  Note: Chateau Marmont's popular drinks spot, Bar Marmont, closed its doors in 2017.