Yard Beach House

From the road the Seasplash sign, with dated fonts and peeling letters, looks about thirty years old -- although this seems to be the norm for value properties in Negril. As you come to the entrance trellis heavily draped in flowers and vines, things look promising. Unfortunately, aside from the well-maintained greenery on the property, everything here seems a bit forgotten; it's like a once charming boutique on life support. Posted signs to rooms are visibly old and moldy; rooms feel damp and some smell of mold. The wooden deck outback has thatched roofs, lounge space, a bar, a restaurant -- it's a great space. However, the pool looks a tad neglected, and upon closer inspection, the promising beach-facing hot tub has mold on the concrete seats. Overall, most things, including a few room elements, look like they haven't been used in years. At night, the property feels even more abandoned; stairwells and entrances to rooms are extremely dark, all staff have left the property, and guests are left to themselves -- without an emergency contact or security (Seasplash is one of the only hotels along the strip without any security, day or night).

Seasplash Negril is located on Seven Mile Beach, just off of Negril's Norman Manley Boulevard. While there's not much within walking distance along the hotel's street side besides the popular tourist bar, Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville, guests can walk along the sand on the hotel's beach side to access a few craft tables, convenience huts, bars, and restaurants. The town center's roundabout can be reached in less than 10 minutes by car, while the popular tourist bar, Rick's Cafe, and other spots in Negril's West End will take five to 10 minutes longer. Montego Bay's Sangster International Airport is about an hour-and-a-half northeast. 

The high levels of humidity in the air are a drawback for tropical beach hotels. Unfortunately for Seasplash, this problem, which leads to faster deterioration of materials and the presence of mold, is only compounded by the dense tropical gardens surrounding the property. Ground-floor rooms are hit the worst, so it may be worth upgrading to the second-floor Loft Suites to get away from the mold. You'll also get vaulted ceilings and a neat (if somewhat dangerous) additional loft-style sleeping area above the main bedroom. One-bedroom and Loft Suites have full kitchens with coffeemakers, full-sized refrigerators, private balconies, and dedicated dining rooms and living areas. Junior Suites (basically a Standard with extra sitting area) and Standard Rooms both come with mini-fridges. Two-bedroom suites are created by connecting a Junior Suite and Standard Room. All rooms have bathrooms with shower/tub combos, dingy walk-in closet space (with unusable irons/ironing boards), air-conditioning, phones, and flat-screen TVs with cable -- but no clocks. 

The most celebrated feature at Seasplash Negril is the hotel's restaurant Norma's. Touted as the area's only 3-diamond restaurant, Norma's serves up international fusion cuisine with Caribbean roots. However, many believe much of what made the restaurant popular in its early 2000s-era glory has long since been digested. And when you look around at the limitedly stocked bar (we had to buy water from a hut down the beach); small, neglected pool; and moldy hot tub, it seems this trend may apply to the whole property. The hotel's beach is small with an extreme lack of loungers, but beautiful enough, especially during sunsets. However, the lack of beach security seems to invite peddlers to literally line up to aggressively pitch sales, or yell toward the Seasplash bar to grab your attention, giving guests a fairly constant stream of harassment. Wi-Fi is free (if it works at all) and parking is available in the unattended front lot at your own risk. The hotel also works with a woman who provides spa services on-call.