Langley Resort Hotel Fort Royal Guadeloupe

This former Club Med was bought a few years ago by a small Swedish hotel chain, Langley Hotels & Resorts, which may explain why 90 percent of the staff seem to be striking blue-eyed blonds. This hotel sees a steady stream of Europeans (mostly French and Swedish) and Quebecois who pack the hotel's secluded beach, which feels private to the hotel (even though it technically isn't). Mostly, they spend their time suntanning or participating in any of the many activities the hotel offers (from foosball to windsurfing) -- though when it rains they tend to cluster under the beach bar or inside the game room. Kids are everywhere, and there is a dedicated, staffed kids' club behind the beach bar with a sandy soccer pitch, a pastel-colored amphitheater, a pint-sized wooden fort, and an indoor area to color and draw. Teens are typically drawn to the surf and sail shop, with its promises of waterborne velocity in the form of sailing craft and jet skis. The adults, meanwhile, generally sunbathe or drink cocktails closer to the surf. 

This hotel is about an hour from the main tourist sights on the other side of Guadeloupe and 45 minutes or more from the airport. Much of the drive is over winding mountain roads, which may be too much of a chore for those looking to sightsee and experience local culture. The small village of Deshaies is about 10 minutes away by car, but there aren't many cultural attractions there. On the other hand, the beach here is a major draw, and feels exclusive to the hotel (though technically it's public). It offers great views of greenery-topped micro islands. Visitors get to the hotel by turning off the highway and driving past a small suburban neighborhood -- not an especially interesting tour, but the attractive beach is likely to wash away those feelings. A sign clearly states that the unpopulated beach on the other side of the hotel is unsafe for swimming, but if you're OK with staying on the sand, it is less crowded than the main stretch that can get packed with other hotel guests. 

The rooms are small devoid of character, lacking even the stock floral prints that lowly motels gussy themselves up with. Bathrooms are just big enough to turn around in. Rooms do, however, get plenty of sunlight and are clean, and some come with good views of the ocean and the beach below. The great bulk of the rooms (133 of them) are in the hulking building that juts out toward the ocean and separates the main beach from the quieter one. The rooms here are really just a place to sleep, bathe, and dry your bathing suit -- they are small and there's nothing to do besides look at a tiny, oddly placed TV with basic channels, or go out to the balcony and look at everyone else having fun in the ocean. Families should note that the Large Rooms and Mini Suite can fit four, and a couple of suites can sleep six. Double Rooms sleep only two. Bungalows (there are 82 of them) are on the far side of the property, and line three levels of stone paths that face into the grounds or out to the ocean. These, too, are small but clean and well-lit by sunlight, and share tiny wooden entry patios with a neighboring bungalow, but capacity is limited to two guests and one child under the age of two. 

Not surprisingly, it's all about the beach here, with most activities geared toward or located near the ocean: surfing, sailing, scuba, volleyball, petanque, a massage hut surrounded by the sea, and a beach bar. Other options include watching the regularly scheduled live Caribbean music in the hotel restaurant, or causing a racket (sorry) at one of the four tennis courts. The main restaurant, Le Royal, serves all three meals, and the beach bar serves drinks and snacks until around midnight.