Hotel Fleur d’Epee

Though the lobby is ugly and dark enough to pass for a pork-barrel-funded public-transport hub -- even the wooden vaulted central ceiling doesn't alleviate the claustrophobia of the rest of the low-ceilinged first floor -- this hotel has natural beauty along the shoreline. Not the beach, which is rather short, has coarse sand, and is shared with neighboring properties, but to the east of the apparently defunct Alamanda restaurant, where the shoreline turns into a series of volcanic-rock promontories that lunge into the ocean. The best part of the day is watching the sea respond to the terrestrial challenge by sending batteries of blue-green waves to explode against the stones and send up plumes of frothy white seawater. It's the kind of view a Romantic poet or composer would have created an opus about (think lots of cymbals). 

According to the staff, the clientele varies depending on the season; retirees tend to come during the peak months of December and January while families with children are most common the rest of the year. Guests mostly occupy themselves by tanning on the beach or hanging out with frozen drinks on the patio of the tiled bar that juts out from the lobby building. 

Without staying in less-than-idyllic Pointe-a-Pitre, it's hard to find a more central location in Guadeloupe than Gosier, which sits on the southwestern shore of Grande-Terre and is about a 15-minute drive from the airport. To the east, the town of Sainte-Anne is about a half hour away, Saint-Francois is 20 to 30 minutes more (depending on traffic), and most of the most popular tourist destinations are within that range. In the other direction, it's about an hour drive to the opposite end of Basse-Terre and sights like the botanical garden. The hotel is technically outside of Gosier town center, and driving to it can require getting on the highway and taking the immediate next exit, which takes about 10 minutes, depending on traffic. The hotel's immediate surroundings are crammed with vacation properties, and it can be difficult at first to figure out which of the hulking compounds is the Fleur d'Epee -- especially since they all seem to share the same jumble of parking lots. A Casino Geant mega-grocery is about a five-minute drive away, which is convenient but also means there's lots of shopping traffic in the area.

Rooms show the general wear and tear of the entire facility, with small but obvious signs of age like swollen wooden shelves, chipped paint around the AC vent, and wall illustrations that have faded badly in the sun. They come in two varieties -- either with a color palette in red-orange (these have ocean views) or blue (these do not). The rooms are spacious (they start at 25 square meters, or 269 square feet) and typically have good light. The furniture, like the bed, desk, and chairs in the bedrooms, seems fresher than the walls, shelves, and art. Ocean views are good, though the balconies furnished with two chairs are narrow. With the glass sliding door open it's possible to hear the sounds of the waves. It's not unusual to find little critters like ants or lizards in the rooms. 

The four Junior Suites start at 74 square meters (797 square feet) and have much more modern decor, as well as excellent sea views. 

The hotel includes a beauty salon and a small boutique in the lobby -- guests can get their hair done while the rest of the family is out worshiping the sun. The lobby also hosts stands set up for car rentals, dive lessons, and excursions on and around the island. The hotel has a troupe of professional entertainers who offer nightly entertainment for guests ranging from live performances to a casino nights to karaoke. During the day, they lead a kids club' in the lobby behind the bar for children four to 12 (this is open five days a week during school holidays, and costs a fee). Outside on the beach, a surf shop provides water sports gear.

A buffet restaurant serves all three meals, and includes drinks. Some rates include breakfast, and an all-inclusive package is available -- but it's much more restrictive than the all-inclusive packages many from the U.S. and U.K. will be familiar with (cocktails are only served during limited evening hours, food is only available during set meal times, and even the filtered water is restricted). The Le Touloulou bar facing the rectangular, oceanfront pool is open every day.