Sign, sign, everywhere a silly, incomprehensible, and/or grammatically disastrous sign

Um? So this is where pregnant chicks like to stand?

First we did creative toilet paper. (Actually, hotels did it. We just took pictures.) Then came clever do-not-disturb signs. Now we present -- with inspiration from, and apologies to, one of our favorite travel-related websites, Engrish.com -- a few of the silly/baffling/grammatically deficient signs we've encountered at hotels we've covered.

Apparently whoever wrote this sign works as an infectious-disease specialist for the CDC (ex⋅pec⋅to⋅rate ik-spek-tuh-reyt verb, -rat⋅ed, -rat⋅ing. –verb: to eject or expel matter, as phlegm, from the throat or lungs by coughing or hawking and spitting; spit) despite never having passed first-grade English.

“No Golf Carts. (That’s a Golf Cart, by the Way.)”

“For your safety” my untanned bottom. What it's really saying is, “Please don’t sog up our already-ugly walls.” (For the record, I left the door open while I slept and thoroughly enjoyed the South Florida ocean breeze, thank you very much.)

Assuming they just left out the word “possessions” before “unattended,” the question becomes, What is “hidden” doing there? (If your possessions are hidden in the room anyway, why not leave them unattended?...) — Assuming they just left out the word “possessions” before “unattended,” the question becomes, What is “hidden” doing there? (If your possessions are hidden in the room anyway, why not leave them unattended?…)